Now, pardon my language, but did you ever hear that comedian that does that routine where he says, “I’ll open up a can of whupp-ass on you!” Posted 2/07/14
By Dean Meyer
Now, pardon my language, but did you ever hear that comedian that does that routine where he says, “I’ll open up a can of whupp-ass on you!” Well, Seattle sure opened a can on Denver last night! And to tell the truth, I didn’t really care.
Oh, I had some friendly wagers on the game. I won a dollar from my grandson Evan. I won supper from my niece Lisa. I lost a six-pack to Willard. You see, I can go either way.
I bet on both teams. But I’m thinking a dollar and a steak dinner versus a cheap six pack, I came out ahead.
And I won five dollars on the coin toss, fifty on the first touchdown, and fifty on the half time score. Now, I spent a little too. But, like most gamblers, you don’t figure that in.
It’d be like keeping track of your expenses with the cows. Would darn sure get rid of the profits you thought you had.
Or like farming.
Darvey told me one time, as we were figuring a profitable deal out on a bar napkin, that “it always looks good on paper”. That it does my son, that it does.
One of my favorite Super Bowl memories is a long, long time ago. Probably close to forty years. Shirley and I were working for $500 a month. Which was actually a lot more than I was worth. I figured it was about $50 for me and $450 for Shirley.
We had been married a few years and figured we should go on a honeymoon. Since we had never been to Las Vegas, we hooked up with some cowboy friends and wives and made arrangements to drive to Billings and fly to Vegas.
That night in Billings, where I had never been in my life, I get paged as we were eating in a Chinese restaurant.
Now, I don’t care for Chinese, and I had never been to Billings so I am kind of surprised. But a friend of mine knew that Willy, whom we were traveling with, liked Chinese and liked to eat.
He tracked us down to let me know I had won $2500 on a Super Bowl board that afternoon! Man, that was five months wages! And on our way to Vegas. He thought we should know.
Well, to shorten this story up a little, we walked into the Gold Nugget where we were staying and I thought I was going through the pearly gates. Heaven had to look like this.
I hit the tables as Shirley struggled to the elevator with the luggage.
By midnight, I was loaded up with cash and whiskey. I took a bunch of money up to Shirley, woke her up and said whatever I do; don’t give me this money back! I made her promise. Then I headed back down to get more free money.
About five a.m. I woke her up and demanded that money back. Now, she went back on her word and gave it to me. I still hold that against her.
By daylight I was broke. We had two more days to spend in Vegas and I was out of money.
Her dad, Jack, was serving in the legislature. He was really proud of his son-in-law when we had to call him off the floor of the House to wire me money so I could feed his daughter!
And that’s the truth. At least the way I remember it.