People say that you shouldn’t look up random medical symptoms on WebMD because no matter what you are inquiring about, it will say something extreme, and it will probably reveal that you will die within 24 hours. I feel that looking up anything to do with parenting is exactly the same. No matter what you do, you will always feel inferior to some sort of new technique, double-sided research, Pinterest Mom, or superior advice.
By Nicole Nowitzki
I’d like to introduce the term ‘mommy shaming,’ in case you haven’t heard of it. Whether you do bottle or breast, crib or co-sleep, vaccines or anti-vac, screen-time or not…, there is always someone out there to tell you that you are doing it all wrong. Whether it has to do with appearance, parenting style, or what your child does for recreation, someone always has an opinion. It is awful to think that you are being judged for every step you take.
I would hope that our common goal would be the same. No matter which road you decide to take, we all want to do what’s best for our children. Why do we have to be judgmental toward each other? It doesn’t make you feel better to put another mom down, so we should unite to bring each other up as much as possible.
Now, I understand that there are times that you read something about extreme neglect or abuse, and you know that these parents honestly didn’t care about the wellbeing of their child, but for the most part, I want to believe that moms are doing their best.
I am not the perfect mother, but I sure do try to do what I feel is best for them. Sometimes, I catch myself believing I have something to prove. Then, I realize that I shouldn’t have to. My children are fed, clothed, taken care of, and happy. Their needs are met, and that is my responsibility. I shouldn’t be classified by what kind of snacks they have or what they wear. Sometimes, my son wears his Buzz Lightyear costume in public. Instead of pointing out that he is wearing a costume, someone should be focusing on the fact that my children all have clothes on, and we are doing something fun…with other humans…in public.
When I hear a child screaming in Walmart, I start to jump to conclusions that the child is just being naughty, but then I remember that I’ve had to take my kids on errands during naptime before because it was the only opportunity I had. Children are not always on their best behavior, and it’s like they know that the produce section, where there are a million people around, is the best time to meltdown because they can’t eat the bananas you are putting in the cart. I try to put myself in their shoes, but sometimes the best option is to be nice. Maybe they are just being naughty, but what good is it going to do to judge someone else that I don’t know.
Moms do what they have to do to make life happen. Whatever your situation, please know that I am rooting for you! You can do it, I’m proud of you, you are special, and thank you for doing your best!